Dear McCaniacs:

Awww… Sorry you’re angry. Sorry that you feel your candidate is being beat by someone less qualified. I’m sorry you feel that this couldn’t happen. I bet your shocked that someone as dangerous as Obama could win and subject you to four years of rampant liberalism that will obviously bring on the end times. Sorry that your white, war hero, established “maverick” is losing an election to a black guy with a funny name. Sorry about all that. 

DEAL WITH IT.

Last election, I had to watch as George W. Bush, probably the worst president in the history of the country, get reelected, not on his merits but instead based on mocking a war veteran (purple heart band-aids at the convention, Swift Boating) and scaring the American public shitless with terror attacks and queers getting married. Before that, I had to watch the Supreme Court hand the election to that same idiot. So I’ve spent the last eight years watching my country go down the wrong roads on social, economic and military policies. I’ve got $4 a gallon gas, a crashed stock market and a $10 B a month war, not to mention the debt my daughter will inherit. You don’t think I’m mad? You don’t think I’ve spent the last 4 years wondering just how this happened?

So in November, when Obama is giving his acceptance speech and getting ready to turn this ship around, think of this: it was YOUR policies that forced the rest of America do elect a funny looking black man with a funny name that “pals around with terrorists.” Things have been so shitty under your president’s policies that someone named Barak Hussien Obama is going to be president. And btw, how bad does your candidate have to be that people can link his oppentent to a racist preacher and a domestic terrorist and still people think he’s the better choice? 

So get up and shout at McCain. Tell him you can’t believe that the country is going in a new direction. Fight for the same policies that have led to bail-outs and unemployment, no health care and no energy plan. Keep shouting “drill baby drill!”

I’m laughing all the way to the ballot box. It’s our turn now.