A couple weeks ago, Jet Blue passengers found themselves trapped on a plane for almost ten hours, waiting for the lane to either take off through the storm or go back to the gate and cancel. It turned into a situation where the airline was hoping the weather would clear… and kept that thought instead of clearing the flight. Since then, the airline has been in major spin control, desperately trying to dedicate themselves to customer service, even going as far as to create a “passenger bill of rights,” offering you a free trip if you’re stuck on a plane for longer than five hours.
What happens if you are stuck in a plane for five hours? Is there anything you can do to get yourself out of that situation?
Here are ten things you can say and do that are sure to get you back in the terminal, or at least out of the plane and into a jail cell with more leg room than the seat in coach.
10. “Perhaps that bottle of ExLax wasn’t a good idea.”
9. “I’m telling you… One good kick and that window will crack wide open.”
8. “$10 says I can make that kid cry for three straight hours nonstop.”
7. “I spy with my little eye a <insert ethnic slur>.” Point and loudly congratulate yourself when you win.
6. “Osama isn’t going to be happy when he hears this.”
5. sing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, alternating between 99 and 64.
4. Start “the wave” and kick the seat in front of you screaming “DO IT!!” if the passenger doesn’t keep it going
3. Take your shoes and socks off and make sock puppets. Put on a show for the people behind you. The sexier the better.
2. Loudly repeat lines from “Airplane.” If unsuccessful, move to “Airplane II” or keep repeating “you put the “emPHAsis on the wrong sylLABle”
1. “How am I supposed to hijack this plane if it never gets off the ground!!!”
